Happy Father's Day

My dad died 15 years ago. I haven't really commemorated this day in any way since then. But I decided this year that I would take stock of the man he was and remind myself what I loved about him and what I didn't.

My dad loved me. He was larger than life for so many years while I was growing up. Some of my earliest memories are me pretending to be asleep in the car after returning home in the evening from some party just so he'd have to carry me in. I can still hear the way the gravel crunched under his feet. He wore only Old Spice and used only Irish Spring soap. He loved coffee and drank it all day long. He would sometimes gross me out when he'd eat a bit of raw hamburger meat while cooking. I have NO idea why he did that. He used to walk around the house naked in the morning because he slept in the nude. This didn't weird me out because it just wasn't a big deal and I just don't think anything of it now. He was voted "The Boldest" in high school. He and my mom were high school sweethearts...she was voted "Most Intelligent." He was a Vietnam war veteran. My mom says that he came back very different than when he went and that's when all the drinking began. He was an alcoholic for all of his life. This saved me from ever thinking that I could live with another alcoholic which became helpful to me later in life. He drank Budweiser and, when he was trying to hide his drinking, he drank vodka so no one could smell it. He loved sci fi and played the movie Top Gun WAY too loud when he was drinking. He wasn't afraid of killing rattle snakes when they popped up around our house and was known to pet wild skunks and let the tarantulas walk all over him. He even had a preying mantis as a pet (he wouldn't let us do anything to it and it decided to live in our house.) When we were little, he had a REALLY mean Macaw named Mandy that used to bite him but he loved her anyway. He loved cats and didn't like dogs. He spanked me a few times...but for BIG infractions. Man, when he was in a bad mood you just did NOT want to be around him. But when he was in a good mood he would be funny and we would laugh and play cards. He thought quality time with me was taking me to the dump on a Saturday to get rid of our large garbage items or having me help him defrost the frozen water lines that ran from the well to our house in the winter. He used to let me sit on his lap and drive when we got off the main highway when I was really little. He was never cold and even in the dead of winter would wear only a vest, never a jacket. He was a smoker all of his life. He believed in a hearty meat and potato meal for dinner but rarely ate breakfast or lunch. He was really smart but was 11 units shy from graduating from college. He never really had a fruitful career after that. He could fix anything and work on any car which was so helpful and handy! He died of a massive heart attack at work when he was 48 years old on June 6th, 1994. I still have his ashes. He wasn't a saint and he wasn't the perfect father but I appreciated the good times with him and really missed him at all those great milestones in my life that he missed...my college graduation, my wedding, the birth of my son, etc.

So, Happy Father's Day wherever you are. He thought organized religion was bullshit and didn't buy that whole Heaven and Hell thing. But if I know him, he's knocking back a beer somewhere and smiling in the sun.